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I had a pretty eventful birth! I was induced on Wednesday, 11/09/11, at 9:30pm, and was not dilated at all. The doctor gave me some morphine for the contractions around 4 in the morning so I could get some sleep - I felt like a million bucks at that point! However, I was still only dilated to 1 cm at that point. Needless to say, I slept like a rock until around 8 am, when my doctor came in to wake me up and break my water to get the process going faster. That was excruciating, and she couldn't even get through my cervix to break it because I was still only at around 1.5 cm. Around noon, she tried to break my water again, and still had no luck. She upped my pitocin IV and we gave it a little more time. Finally, at about 2 or 3, she was able to break my water. That felt like such a feat, and I knew the worst was yet to come! After she was able to break my water, I progressed at a steady rate, but not as fast as I would have liked. I got my epidural at 4 pm and was finally able to sleep for a little while. (The epidural was a godsend!) I had really bad back labor at that point, although I really think it was the way I had to lay in the bed that made it so bad. I was FINALLY at 10 cm at 11:45 pm and able to start pushing. I pushed for almost 3 hours and was at the end of my rope physically, and completely wore out mentally. In the meantime, while I was pushing, I started to feel extremely sick. They had me on a blood pressure cuff that took my blood pressure every 15 minutes and the monitor showed that it shot up pretty fast. They took my temperature and it had gone up from 96.9 that morning and most of the day stayed around that temperature, to 102.1. I was so ready to be done! The doctor said that because of my fever, they believed that Ella may have a possible infection that could have passed through the cervix since my water had been drained so long ago. She said we could do the vacuum option, but in order to do that I would need at least 20 minutes of the hardest pushing I could do. The other option was a c -section. I wanted nothing to do with a c-section, so I chose the vacuum. On her way out, her right shoulder got stuck and that was probably the scariest 5 minutes of my entire life. My doctor sounded so frantic all of a sudden, shouting "Back-up nurse! Back-up nurse!" The nurse on my left started pushing with her entire body weight on the top of my belly to help push her out, and they were telling me to push, push, push! All that went through my head at that point was that she was going to die. I pushed with everything I had and they had to basically pull her out by her head and left shoulder. She was out! Doug was at my feet holding up one of my legs, and he told me later he had never been so scared in his life. He thought it looked like they were going to break her neck. I am actually thankful I didn't have to watch that like he did, because I don't think I could have gotten past the image of them pulling her out like that. It took her about a minute to cry, and it was the longest minute of my life. I thought she was dead - keep in mind I had no idea the issue was that she was stuck, just that the doctor was freaking out suddenly. The minute until I heard her cry was the longest minute of my life, by far. When I finally heard it, I asked if she was okay, and I heard the best answer I'd ever heard - Yes! My life changed for the better in that minute, at 2:36 AM on 11/11/11. 


They had to take her to the NICU because of the possible infection, although I did get to hold her for a minute or so before they took her away. It was so sad watching them take my baby away. They told me I could go see her when my epidural wore off. I had to wait about 2 hours until I could go see her. She was so beautiful! I knew in my heart that everything was okay and she had no infection, but I would rather be safe than sorry, so I just prayed for her to be healthy. This was Friday morning. They told me when I made it over to see her that she would have to stay in the NICU until at least Tuesday, which just broke my heart. Doug and I were discharged on Sunday (my birthday)- I wish I could have brought her home on my birthday, but again, I understood her safety was worth the wait. We spent every moment at the NICU that we could, and we were really able to bond with her there, hold her, I was able to nurse her - well, attempt to nurse her. Its a work in progress! Anyway, the tests came back on Monday that she was infection free, and that she would be able to come home on Tuesday for sure! We got to bring her home, and I have spent the entire time just staring at her in disbelief. I can't believe how much I love her, I never knew the capacity that a heart could truly love. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, in every single way.

The healing process is a slow one. Because her shoulder was stuck, I tore up the side, perpendicular to the vaginal opening. That pain is almost worse than the delivery! It is getting better, but every time I go to the bathroom, my urine touches the tear and at first I would just sit on the toilet and cry in pain. One of my doctors actually walked in to my room and found me bawling in pain and gave me some Norco for the pain, which has definitely helped. Each day gets a little better, for the most part. 

I would go through it all in a heartbeat for her again. She is perfect. She is a daddy's girl already though. Doug is AMAZING with her. I fall for him all over again when he is playing with her, and singing to her, and just holding her. I have never seen such a proud papa. I am actually tearing up right now thinking about it... I have never been so happy in my life. :)